Friday, December 17, 2010

Adventures of a Kitchen Slave, Pt. 8, Sauce on the Side

SOS...I cringe upon seeing those 3 letters on the ticket, my brows instantly furrowing with judgement. Sauce on the side, how boring. I picture the person ordering...finicky, a face that looks like they are smelling bad cheese, allergic to gluten, lactose and garlic (no, you cant be allergic to garlic). Everybody has an opinion, and I have alot of them when it comes to food. So, this is my sauce on the side...my unapologetic opinions on all things edible.

Eat your vegetables.
Ok, maybe kids don't like veggies, but it is unacceptable to eat like a 7 year old for the rest of your life.

Curse those Sunkist people.
They stamp each & every lemon with a green Sunkist logo, just so I can scrape it off with my knife before using it. How wonderful to eat food completely void of labels and packaging...you know, the kind you get a the farmers market, or even better, grow yourself!

My server friends are not going to like this, but there is a sense of superiority (think, swagger) that goes along with actually producing the product to be sold. It's kind of like being nice to the bartender. "You will just have to wait for it. I make the goods, you just run them from the kitchen to the customer."

It is not ok to create your own menu items.
Complicated requests, items pieced together from different entrees, requests for alternate cooking methods, etc. are not appreciated. Try this in your own kitchen!

The tactile part of cooking is a huge part of the fun for me. I detest the gloves we are required to wear at all times, hotel policy. It is, however, industry practice to use them when touching prepared foods, but not all the time. I do understand that not everybody cleans under their fingernails as compulsively as I do (where btw, most of the bacteria on your hands reside). Eww. Fine, keep the gloves.

Eat real food, not edible food-like substances (thanks Michael Pollan). I will always choose real sugar over the blue/pink/yellow packets, real apples over apple juice, real butter over margarine, or even SmartButter (a vegan butter, which is actually pretty good).

It's called Insatiable Appetite for a reason.
People are starting to notice that I'm always eating, or cooking, or hungry. Co-workers note that I never seem to turn down a taste of something they're working on, a leftover prime rib from the holiday banquet, a smudged Chocolate Decadence dessert...kinda makes up for the fact that they pay me in peanuts.

Cooking for strangers, still fun. Cooking for loved ones, priceless.
This has been the gift of the holidays...time together, eating. Why not elevate the food, make it special. Need not be too fancy, or time consuming, but I'm talking about food as love. A big ohana dinner, or a quiet night at home, I feel nourished from the inside out. I love you everybody! Merry Christmas!

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